and i hope you’re all sittingdown because j.k. rowling has announced that there will be anew harry potter book… ish. it’s not a book. it’s the script of the upcomingplay, "harry potter and the cursed child." and i know what you’re thinking,but it’s not about harry’s friendship with mccaulay culkin. the play actually takes place 19years after the last book, and
features a thirty-somethingharry balancing his job at the ministry of magic with being afather. that just sounds depressing. i love we’ll get something elseabout that whole world, but harry potter’s life peaked whenhe was 17. captain of the quidditch team,big "chosen one" on campus. now he’s just some … guy! who are his enemies even goingto be? phil from accounting?
slowing metabolism? a vague restless feeling when helooks at travel posters? you might as well call it "harrypotter and the sorcerer’s prostate." so, please, spare us. and this goes for all belovedchildhood stories. i can’t take reading about agrown-up holden caulfield assistant-managing a costco. i don’t want to read about thenarnia kids’ unfulfilling
marriages. "i used to be a king, brenda! a king!"and no one, wants to see "are you there, god? it’s me, margaret" go throughmenopause.