a husband comes home with a huge check forthe month, but his wife isnâ€™t happy. she thinks, â€œi didnâ€™t get any attention theentire month so that he could bring home this check?â€ he thinks, â€œi worked hard theentire month, so that i could bring home this check and make us happy, and she doesnâ€™tappreciate it.â€ this has become the standard narrative inrelationships, and simply stems from ignorance about how men and women assign points. thinkof these as, i guess, happiness points. if britney gets one video game for bill, heassigns that one point. if britney were to get him ten video games, he would be really,really happy and assign it ten points. but what bill doesnâ€™t realize is that the oppositeis not true for how britney assigns points.
if bill gets britney one rose on his way home,that will be one point for her. if bill got ten roses for britney, guess what, it wouldstill be one, just one point. maybe if he got fifty roses, then it would be two points,but the big idea is that she assigns points very differently. little things are assignedjust as much value as big things. i can make my girlfriend her favorite coffeein the morning, send her a flirty text on lunch break, come home and show her how excitedi am to see her and give her a kiss, and she will be much happier than if i had completelydisregarded her feminine need, and simply brought home an expensive gift at the endof the day. now with this said, letâ€™s address that oneguy. there is always that one guy who tells
me, "what you say sounds nice but youâ€™rewrong, thatâ€™s not what girls really want." the problem isnâ€™t that what weâ€™re tellinghim is wrong. the problem is that he canâ€™t do the little things meaningfully. his kissactually does not generate that one point for her. none of his little attentions dobecause he has no understanding of the feminine. so, guess what, the girl is obviously goingto pick a gift or whatever, that is at least guaranteed to give her a point. it also becomesobvious that the she isnâ€™t with him for the right reasons, but then again, they willboth settle for now, until their next codependently mediocre relationship.